Oops, Texas. Yes I can feel the despair, Kaia. What you can do is read Joanna Macy (work that reconnects and active hope based on Deep Ecology wisdom) and become part of the Tree Sisters. Everything has a reason. And you live in Texas because you can do the magic there. Cry, shake, and punch a cushion. Let all the emotions flow flow flow. Start a women's group to do it together. It'll help the bigger picture when you heal yourself and each other and find your courage to stand up together. Then we'll get there. One thing you shouldn't do is ever doubt yourself... Love.