I hear you. And relate to your story. And I think it's true that everything shifts all the time. It does for me as well. It also spins faster. I can't remember how I exactly felt last week anymore. Or what I thought. Even some of my writing I don't recognize.
The good news is that the core gets more stable. It's spinning faster around me, but I'm calm inside. I now know what 'being in the moment' feels like. Stable. Alert. Connected.
And the writing I do is kind of consistent (luckily). It's not like I go every direction and blow with the wind. But it did take me some years to get there. In the beginning, I just had 'amazing ideas' all the time just to find out the next day that there were other sides to it.
I just see it as flushing. A lot of thoughts had to get out before I could find the stable, firm core. And make space. Something like that. Trust the process.
And now I wonder, do I even make sense in my rambling?